Posted in On Life, On self

#Killing Our Demons

Feelings never made anyone be more
Tears never drowned anything tangible
Thoughts never moved mountains or made gorges
But our actions have brought something…
More of life and death in equal measure
Our words have dug us way deeper than ever
And despite it all
Our feets keep shuffling in these muddy paths
In search of that which we know not but yearn dearly

©Joy🌹

#KOD

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Posted in Hope Alive, To Love

Blake Wilson

Blind dates are quite interesting phenomenons,
People who don’t know each other,
Come together at dinner and just talk,
Mostly it’s getting to know each other,
On a new creative way,
It’s a process of healing nasty wounds,
For those who can’t heal from their past heartbreaks,
Or who can’t get over the loss of their lovers,
Friends set each other up,
And you talk and laugh all night long,
With your date,
It stitches our broken selves,
Giving a chance for our flowers,
To grow,yet again,
Bill,came over to my favourite club,
Said that he wanted me to give him,
A ride to a certain expo,
He’d been a great source of help,
Since Kara left,
Disappeared, and gone to Seattle,
Almost an year ago,
He’d helped me try and overcome her,
Try and overcome her words,
Ringing in my mind all the time,
He’d tried to get me off booze,
And clubs,
Though it didn’t work a hundred percent,
I still hanged around them,
It’s almost seven,
And I’m almost done,
In my mechanic shop,
So i drive my own built model of a Ferrari,
And pick him up at our rendezvous,
He looks really great,
Suit and tie,
Cologne and his manly scent,
His Russian accent colouring his looks,
Five minutes we are parking in some hotel,
Not really meant for us mechanics,
Or rather me,
He leads me to some table,
With candles
And roses,
And a girl in a red dress,
She,a blonde with blue eyes,
I channel a thousand silent questions
To this fool of a friend,
But he barricades them with his chilled look,
And raises his eyebrow,
He introduces me to the lady,
and leaves.
I am confused,
I want to run away,
I haven’t been on a date since Kara,
I haven’t been any fun,except from clubs and drinking games,
I haven’t been any roses and chocolates guy,
I gather up some traces of courage,
And look at the blonde’s eyes
She’s beautiful,
Really beautiful,
Insanely beautiful,
Her lips part
And reveal a fine set of milky teeth,
I stutter my name,”I…a…am…Blake…Blake Wilson…”
My voice dies,
My heart sinks,
Silent curses to Bill,
She says hers,
With neat articulation,
Almost Russian,
And we begin the meal by an awkward silence,
I don’t know how the fancy people distinguish their spoons,
And the array of shiny equipments blinds my eyes,
I excuse myself
And say that i am not used to all this,
She smiles,
A kind smile,
Like the moon waning into a perfect phase,
“Lemme help you” she suggests
And i nod my head like the average fool,
She rises up like the sun,
Bright and full of glow,
Her red dress sweeps the floor,
As she makes her way to me,
She brings her chair,
Almost next to my flank,
And i spend the next couple of minutes,
Being fed,
Like a little babe,
She tells me all about her,
She tells me about her filthy rich parents,
And i mock my being a mechanic,
Heck she reminds me that it’s 28th of February
Quite funny too according to me,
We sip champagne, as we talk,
She’s holding my hand,
And it feels like she’s fallen in love with me,
And she kisses me almost at my lips,
My mind brings back all the wounds,
Kara,breakup,Seattle, Drinking, Bars,
My lips have only kissed her,
My Kara, once upon a time,
And i really do miss her,
I thought that after an year,
All my tumbling,
And falling
Would help me forget,
Would help me have silence within my castle walls,
But my eyes of grey,
See not this fine beauty,
But it sees all the reason for my hurt,
And pain,
And fall,
I feel like crying for a second,
I feel like crashing for a moment,
I feel like screaming for a lifetime,
I can feel her breath on me,
She kisses me on my lips,
I break the kiss,
And look up to her soulful eyes,
And as much as i want to love anew,
It never is easy,
It never will be,
I lost the love of my life,
And a part of my soul,
I apologise,
And she does so too,
We exchange numbers,
And i drive her hotel,
And at the driveway,
As she turns to go up the stairs,
I quickly reach out to her hand,
And i pull her to me,
Swivel her around
And she falls on my bulky hands,
And i give her the kiss she’s been searching for,
For a couple of minutes,
She feels like she’s home,
And i feel like i am a prisoner,
In her cage,
She’s beautiful,
Inside out,
Outside in,
And once the kiss of life and consolation is done,
I pull down from the driveway,
Unaware of where to go next.

Blake Wilson,
Valentine’s of 2018.

@Mugambi.Clarity.Word

Posted in Hope Alive, To Love

Blake Wilson

Blind dates are quite interesting phenomenons,
People who don’t know each other,
Come together at dinner and just talk,
Mostly it’s getting to know each other,
On a new creative way,
It’s a process of healing nasty wounds,
For those who can’t heal from their past heartbreaks,
Or who can’t get over the loss of their lovers,
Friends set each other up,
And you talk and laugh all night long,
With your date,
It stitches our broken selves,
Giving a chance for our flowers,
To grow,yet again,
Bill,came over to my favourite club,
Said that he wanted me to give him,
A ride to a certain expo,
He’d been a great source of help,
Since Kara left,
Disappeared, and gone to Seattle,
Almost an year ago,
He’d helped me try and overcome her,
Try and overcome her words,
Ringing in my mind all the time,
He’d tried to get me off booze,
And clubs,
Though it didn’t work a hundred percent,
I still hanged around them,
It’s almost seven,
And I’m almost done,
In my mechanic shop,
So i drive my own built model of a Ferrari,
And pick him up at our rendezvous,
He looks really great,
Suit and tie,
Cologne and his manly scent,
His Russian accent colouring his looks,
Five minutes we are parking in some hotel,
Not really meant for us mechanics,
Or rather me,
He leads me to some table,
With candles
And roses,
And a girl in a red dress,
She,a blonde with blue eyes,
I channel a thousand silent questions
To this fool of a friend,
But he barricades them with his chilled look,
And raises his eyebrow,
He introduces me to the lady,
and leaves.
I am confused,
I want to run away,
I haven’t been on a date since Kara,
I haven’t been any fun,except from clubs and drinking games,
I haven’t been any roses and chocolates guy,
I gather up some traces of courage,
And look at the blonde’s eyes
She’s beautiful,
Really beautiful,
Insanely beautiful,
Her lips part
And reveal a fine set of milky teeth,
I stutter my name,”I…a…am…Blake…Blake Wilson…”
My voice dies,
My heart sinks,
Silent curses to Bill,
She says hers,
With neat articulation,
Almost Russian,
And we begin the meal by an awkward silence,
I don’t know how the fancy people distinguish their spoons,
And the array of shiny equipments blinds my eyes,
I excuse myself
And say that i am not used to all this,
She smiles,
A kind smile,
Like the moon waning into a perfect phase,
“Lemme help you” she suggests
And i nod my head like the average fool,
She rises up like the sun,
Bright and full of glow,
Her red dress sweeps the floor,
As she makes her way to me,
She brings her chair,
Almost next to my flank,
And i spend the next couple of minutes,
Being fed,
Like a little babe,
She tells me all about her,
She tells me about her filthy rich parents,
And i mock my being a mechanic,
Heck she reminds me that it’s 28th of February
Quite funny too according to me,
We sip champagne, as we talk,
She’s holding my hand,
And it feels like she’s fallen in love with me,
And she kisses me almost at my lips,
My mind brings back all the wounds,
Kara,breakup,Seattle, Drinking, Bars,
My lips have only kissed her,
My Kara, once upon a time,
And i really do miss her,
I thought that after an year,
All my tumbling,
And falling
Would help me forget,
Would help me have silence within my castle walls,
But my eyes of grey,
See not this fine beauty,
But it sees all the reason for my hurt,
And pain,
And fall,
I feel like crying for a second,
I feel like crashing for a moment,
I feel like screaming for a lifetime,
I can feel her breath on me,
She kisses me on my lips,
I break the kiss,
And look up to her soulful eyes,
And as much as i want to love anew,
It never is easy,
It never will be,
I lost the love of my life,
And a part of my soul,
I apologise,
And she does so too,
We exchange numbers,
And i drive her hotel,
And at the driveway,
As she turns to go up the stairs,
I quickly reach out to her hand,
And i pull her to me,
Swivel her around
And she falls on my bulky hands,
And i give her the kiss she’s been searching for,
For a couple of minutes,
She feels like she’s home,
And i feel like i am a prisoner,
In her cage,
She’s beautiful,
Inside out,
Outside in,
And once the kiss of life and consolation is done,
I pull down from the driveway,
Unaware of where to go next.

Blake Wilson,
Valentine’s of 2018.

@Mugambi.Clarity.Word

Posted in Love..For him and her

To You…

You are that line from a poem I read last night or the lyrics of a song that keeps playing in my mind.

You are the background music to my normal life,I dance to your tunes.

You are the acrylic painting in my heart walls that the tattoos in my skin envy.

You are the ivory rays in the sunset reflecting my pale countenance,holding my gaze.

You are you, the lofty clouds that decorate my sunrise sky…

©Joy🌹

Posted in Friendship, Love..For him and her

Hey Stranger…

Hey stranger…
I find comfort in calling you that,
Though I know you ain’t it all,
Though I know you are more,
But for now…
My heart gets contentment in it…
So… Hello Stranger.

It’s been a while…a long while,
Since we saw each other…
Not just in the physical realm,
But in all ways that we meet us,
And still left craving for us
Yes…
It’s been long since I felt you.

Today I remembered you…
On that day we met,
Can’t recall the date or time
For at that moment…
All that makes the world go round stood still,
All that gave life meaning seemed not to exist
All for me…
To just relish in your presence..
Bask in your hallo-ed essence.

Your earphones carefully placed in your ears,
Your eyes sternly fixed at the changing clouds,
Your fingers fiddling with the end of your hoodie,
Your lips….
Humming to the lyrics of a forgotten hymn..
I still relive the moments.

Trying to steal a clearer gaze from you,
There out eyes met,held each other,
The light in you illuminating my soul
Holding my soul captive
Too struck to free from your gaze,
You smiled at me…
And then it happened…
Music…the orchestra, set in.

The caterpillars within turned to butterflies,
The raging voices in me kept shut,
The birds songs grew louder…
Their love song to us…me,
And once in a long while….
My stormy seas calmed and left ripples in me…

Hey Stranger,
I know you don’t remember me,
But I’m that girl you say with in the bus,
She who forgot her own station to alight from,
She that seemed your gaze…
Through the reflection of the window you say on…
I’m that girl.

Today I travel in that same bus,
Seated at our love seat
Reserving it….
Hoping against all hope,
That you’ll be the one boarding now
And with a grin on your face,
Is the seat taken?” you’ll ask
“Has always been reserved for you…” I’ll answer with a smile.

Hey Stranger…
I’m still on the lookout for you
With a great plan in my head
Even with your earphones plugged in,
With your hoodie covering your head…
I know what I’ll do…
Hey,I’m Joy…I miss you”
That’s all I’ll say…
But for now Keep this in mind as it is in my heart…
I miss you Stranger.

©Joy🌹

Posted in Loss and pain, On Life, On self

Last Strike

Lightning struck,
And the thunder stormed,
I felt my name called out in the blowing winds,
I saw her disappear,
Like a glitch of blue and grey,
I can’t really remember what she said,
Something like she’s going to start a better life,
Someplace in Seattle or Puerto Rico,
Im not sure,
My head’s too fuzzy,
Filled with too much pain,
And gallons of booze,
But i remember,
The moists of the atmosphere,
Helped her fade,
And my heart died a little bit more,
I was giving up
I was losing myself
Concentrating on the sound of her heart beat,
But sometimes it’s not the butterflies and heartbeats
That tell you you’re in love
But the pain,
I felt three strikes,
And i was watering dead roses,
That had flowered in me,
And they still pricked
I tried to reason with my head,
But all the pain,
Merged in a single tear
And dropped like bars,
All the memories,
Of love and happy,
Came haunting me,
Baying for my blood,
The hour glass was broken,
And my heart was shattered,
She was gone,
I slowly moved my feet
Indecisive of what to do,
I decided to let her slip way,
Flashes of lightning led me to this moment,
I’m stuck to a table
With a bottle neck in my mouth
Guzzling down the traces of beer,
Burning down my throat,
Trying to warm up my own heart,
I feel dead inside,
Like something became lost,
And it disappeared to the night,
I was holding on to nothing at all,
I still am,
But my heart’s now made of stone
I guess i should change my name,
To something more sinister,
Like the colour of my friend,the razor,
So that i don’t remember her voice
Calling out my name,
Calling out Blake,
Blake Wilson.

@Mugambi.June.Word

Posted in Hope Alive, Hurt and Pain

Darkness In The Light.

Northern lights play,
A song of ice and fire,
The breeze, blows out our fires,
Im sipping latte from our riverbank
And i can’t help but remember,
How you held me,
As you bent to kiss my lips of red,
And your hands found,
Their way onto my waist
As you moved your head
And whispered in my ear
Nothing but promises
Telling me everything will be okay
Knowing how much of a wreck i am,
You made me smile after a long time
I thought it was eternal,
Only to realize,
That the winds whisper,
But disappear to the dunes,
i couldn’t hold on to you,
Cause you were fading,
And i was drifting,
Past the seasons,
And the scathes of the sun,
Just like the trees
swaying to the direction of their master
I tried following you,
To the ends of the earth,
But just like all that is not meant to be,
I had to let flee
And just hold on to the memories
Maybe someday I will forget,
Wounds heal sometimes,
And become beautiful scars,
I’ll still collect the shattered pieces,
From the floor,
Where we cuddled…
Just like ripping a band aid fast,
I hope i will forget all this memories that didn’t last,
I remember when my only craving was your scent,
And everytime in my list,
You were one of the heavenly sent,
You were my only angel in every angle of life,
But i guess,
That it really hurt,
When you fell from heaven,
Because now im at the river,
Where we had picnics from,
I tried to think,but i cant,
My demons are begging me,
To open my mouth,
I need them mechanically,
To make the words of pain,
And regret come out,
I knew i can’t swim,
But i jumped in,
And sank.

@Mugambi.June.Word

Posted in On self, To Love

Loving Me…

((ODP Weekly Thread))

It’s one of those nights,
The star-lit ones,
Where the wind blows calmly,
That I await a sign from above…
That maybe I ain’t wrong.

That maybe I was too quick
To quench the fire
When the house was ablaze
Maybe I could have let the fire
Destroy the house

That may be the titanic did not sink
That may be we never made that trip
That may be my Jack will come again,
This time not in a dream
But carrying my favourite flower,white carnation,
Just may be

That maybe I was right
About his never coming back to me
Maybe he found a new love
But maybe he is stuck somewhere
And I should stick around for a while
But these nights are cold,
Sounds like a sign,

That maybe I had died
Just to get your attention
To see how much you really cared
But jokes on me
When you die everyone cares
Even your own demons

I spent my last bullet on a scarecrow
I spent my last vibe on a cold heart
I spent my last wish on silent starry night sky
Maybe it’s still out there
Maybe love is real.

Maybe I tried too hard
Maybe I chased you away
Maybe I should have cared less
I heard you like bad girls
But I ain’t going to cry no more

So under the moonlight I swear,
In all thats great and pure
That I shall come first
I shall love me
As in loving me,
Maybe you’ll know how to love me…

@OurDailyPoetry Poets.

Posted in On self, To Love

Loving Me…1

((ODP Weekly Thread))

It’s one of those nights,
The star-lit ones,
Where the wind blows calmly,
That I await a sign from above…
That maybe I ain’t wrong.

That maybe I was too quick
To quench the fire
When the house was ablaze
Maybe I could have let the fire
Destroy the house

That may be the titanic did not sink
That may be we never made that trip
That may be my Jack will come again,
This time not in a dream
But carrying my favourite flower,white carnation,
Just may be

That maybe I was right
About his never coming back to me
Maybe he found a new love
But maybe he is stuck somewhere
And I should stick around for a while
But these nights are cold,
Sounds like a sign,

That maybe I had died
Just to get your attention
To see how much you really cared
But jokes on me
When you die everyone cares
Even your own demons

I spent my last bullet on a scarecrow
I spent my last vibe on a cold heart
I spent my last wish on silent starry night sky
Maybe it’s still out there
Maybe love is real.

Maybe I tried too hard
Maybe I chased you away
Maybe I should have cared less
I heard you like bad girls
But I ain’t going to cry no more

So under the moonlight I swear,
In all thats great and pure
That I shall come first
I shall love me
As in loving me,
Maybe you’ll know how to love me…

@OurDailyPoetry Poets.

Posted in Hurt and Pain, To Love

Crossed Lines

I just wish you sent emissaries of truth,
Because my mind would be at peace with me,
I would have a nary a qualm,
And all these glasses would not be broken,
And all these tears would not be shed,
And now these words will never be taken,
And this day will never be forgotten!

I wish I got caught up a little at work today,
Because then you and your hoe would have finished business,
And i would be met by the smell of a fresh shower,
And the sound of sheets doing turns in the cleaner,
And the sight of sugar coated lies!

I wish I passed by _Kill me kwik_,
To kiss the bottle with the boys,
Watching the waitress sway her non-existent hips,
As we rant of all the greatnes around
Of the wonders of the green mamba on riparian
Than me coming here…
To witness your sacrilege on our matrimonial bed…
And me calling out to my gone ancestors.

Today I wished to be swept off by the floods
But it’s a sunny dry month
Today I wished to have been hit by a bus
And got dragged down it’s wheels along the tarmac
But again it’s a sleepy village here
Nothing that we wish for ever happens
Yet here I am…
Having to hear the pleasure moans you have him…
Those I always beg for each time I visit your downtown!

Now I’m wishing for more…
I wish for the rumble of an earthquake
For the earth to open up and swallow me whole
For a cactus plantation to grow upon my unmarked grave
At least with that…
The pieces of my shattered heart shall find peace
Than watching the wind blow these pieces away
The pieces you managed to make of my heart.

©Joy🌹
©Wanyiri😀